I DREAMT THAT I KNEW BOB DYLAN

spoken: "Every time he opened his mouth..."

I dreamt that I knew Bob Dylan but he had a younger face and every time he opened his mouth I knew that he had fallen from grace. I tried to be a good listener, but he only spoke in riddles and puns and when I asked him what he meant by that he just gave me another one.

I dreamt that I knew Bob Dylan. We were trying to board a plane but our bags appeared to be filled with things that we just could not explain. So he sat down to write a limerick about a man who dressed in black, but when they said 'Would you step into this machine?' he said 'No- and I won't be back!'

He said
Sometimes it's hard to tell what's real
When what you know is nothing like what you feel

I dreamt that I knew Bob Dylan. I went with him to a wake and no one there seemed at all put off when a girl jumped out of the cake. We made polite conversation and only occasionally lied, but our grieving was fake because the girl in the cake was the one he had told me had died.

I dreamt that I knew Bob Dylan and he laughed a lot more than you'd think, but he always frowned with the cameras around because no one had taught him to wink. I told him 'Your pupils are dilated' and he gave me a rueful look. Then he said my pupils would sue me for not teaching them to read the right books.

He said
Sometimes it's hard to tell what's real
When what you know is nothing like what you feel

And I said
My my my

I dreamt that I knew Bob Dylan- he was just like a father to me. He'd come around on weekends to watch our colour TV and he taught me to hunt and to fish and to smoke and to rollerskate in the park... but mostly he taught me to say my prayers and make my peace with the dark.

I dreamt that I knew Bob Dylan, so I introduced him to my girl and he said 'Let's go out dancing, man, so I can give your sweetheart a twirl' We went to an after-hours ballroom where we danced til he asked for a kiss. Then my little wife, who's the love of my life, said 'Does he always act like this?'

I don't know- I only dreamt that I knew Bob Dylan. We never actually played. He was always confused- 'Is this rhythm or blues? And how much is that guy getting paid?' The piano and I were playing cat and mouse and when I caught it all the chords were wrong. I said 'Get off your phone and play some trombone!' but by then the man was already gone.

He said
Sometimes it's hard to tell what's real
When what you know is nothing like what you feel

I dreamt that I knew Bob Dylan and I think that he dreamt he knew me, cause when I went to buy his t-shirt the girl said 'Oh! For you, it's free!' So I went around his place to thank him and he answered the door in a gown and I said 'Look, I'll come by later- when are you sure to not be around?'

He said
Sometimes it's hard to tell what's real
When what you are is nothing like what you feel
Sometimes it's hard to tell what's real

And I said
My my my